Thursday, August 23, 2012

Happy One Month Adelaide Penelope

Dear Adelaide,

Today marks one month since you joined our family. A month?!?!?! Holy moly. Yep, already a month. In the past month, you have gone from 8 lbs. 6 oz. to 9 lbs. 10 oz! You have learned to take a bottle like a champ, started staying awake more (but not much more--you LOVE to sleep! which your Mama and Daddy LOVE, too!), holding your head up, looking around with those big bright eyes, AND you have completely and utterly stolen our hearts.

For the most part, our first week with you was spent adjusting to being a family of three. Your daddy had the week off, so we spent a lot of time together. You and Daddy spent some quality time napping together.  We went for a short walk or two. We basked in the love of family and friends who brought us meals and visited with us. And you slept. Pretty much all the time.

At the end of the week, we decided that sharing a room with a newborn isn't all it's cracked up to be, so we tried you out in your own crib, and like the amazing baby you are, you took to it immediately. So, aside from naps, which you sometimes take on me, or in your Rock n' Play, the crib is where you sleep.

After Daddy went back to work, Grandma came to stay with us for the week. She got to share a room with you (and Fitz and Zima!) and gave Daddy the opportunity to sleep through the night for his first week back to work while she got up with me and you for late night feedings. Grandma enjoyed rocking, cuddling, and changing your poopy diapers (yes, I'm sure she enjoyed even diapers!) for the week, and we (I) enjoyed being spoiled while the house was cleaned, food was prepared, and I sat in my glider and rested. Grandma is great. :)

This week also included a date night for me and Daddy for his birthday. It was a convenient excuse to have a date night and get used to leaving you for several hours at a time while Grandma and Grandpa babysat. I had no idea how much I would miss you, just being gone for a few hours! I can't imagine leaving you for a whole day when I go back to work.

Once Grandma went home, you and I had to get used to being on our own during the days. We started going out more together, taking Fitz up to Tower Grove Park for a walk or running some quick errands. Just this week, we started meeting Daddy for lunch--it's a nice break in the day, and he loves to see his girls!

Last week, school started without me. There is no where I'd rather be than home with you right now, but it does feel strange to miss the beginning of the school year for the first time in 24 years.

And before I knew it, you were one month old! You don't look like the tiny newborn we brought home from the hospital one month ago. You are growing and changing every day, and you are so beautiful. You are a precious gift from God and we treasure you.

I love you, Laidey Bug!

-Mama

Adelaide's Siblings

Fitzy and Zima have both exceeded our expectations as Adelaide's older siblings. Fitz is as gentle as can be with her. He likes to sniff her and even gave her a kiss once (she wasn't a fan of that!). He is also quite protective. Prior to Adelaide's arrival, Fitz was terrified of, well, lots of things. Fireworks. Thunder. Sprinklers. Other dogs, even those half his size. Since Adelaide joined our family, he has stepped up his game. When a firework went off next door a few days after Adelaide's birth, instead of jumping and running to the corner of our bedroom upstairs, Fitz went right to the front door with a deep-throated growl. He also spends lots of time lying right next to me and Adelaide while she eats. Not sure if this is another protective measure, or if he keeps hoping he will get some leftovers. While I am sure there will come a day when it will be lucrative for Fitz to sit under Adelaide's chair while she eats, I think those days are still a few months away.

Zima hasn't shown quite the same level of interest. We are happy about this, mainly in that she has not shown interest in joining Adelaide in her crib. She has made herself quite a comfy bed on the changing table pad, but hey, it's not the crib. With a towel to protect the changing pad from too much cat fur, we decided keeping her off it entirely wasn't a battle worth fighting.


 I think both of Adelaide's siblings will enjoy her more as she gets bigger. But so far, they are lovin' her well!

Monday, August 20, 2012

On Being NOT Pregnant

Last night, as I flopped on the bed, tummy first, I thought to myself once again, "It feels so great to NOT be pregnant anymore." And it does. Don't get me wrong, I didn't have a horrible pregnancy. I actually enjoyed being pregnant, unlike many women I've talked to. I had some mild nausea during the first trimester and those last few days were no picnic, as you already know if you've read my blog posts this summer, but other than that, being pregnant had a very magical, awesomeness to it. And I use the word awesome in the sense of "being filled with awe." Because I was so often in awe of the fact that a little human was growing inside me. To get to feel her kick and hiccup and to hear her heart beat. Awe.

BUT, I much prefer having her outside of me now, and getting to watch her kick her legs and see her hiccup (though she doesn't like that much!) and putting my ear to her chest to hear her little heart beat. Plus a million other things I couldn't do before, like kiss her cheeks and smell her head--why do babies heads smell so good? It's not like I even bathe her that often! ;)--and watch her play with her tongue and work so hard to hold her head up and turn toward me while she is having tummy time...

Also, I am no longer pregnant. And that, too, is a wonderful feeling. It's kind of like after you have had a cold for a long time. It's not a major sickness, and for the most part, you can live life normally, albeit uncomfortably. But when that cold is gone, wow, you remember just how good it feels to be healthy again. Just simple things are not so hard anymore.

Here are a few specific things that are "not so hard" now that I'm not pregnant:
  • bending down to tie my shoes (only really difficult when I was sitting down, but still...)
  • seeing my toes (and painting my toenails)
  • going to the bathroom, which I only have to do occasionally now, instead of every 15 minutes
  • lying on my stomach
  • lying on my back and being able to breathe at the same time
  • getting out of bed (which I still have to do more often than I would like, but now that I have ab muscles that are starting to work again, it's a definite plus)
  • sleeping in general; not waking up with an aching back and aching hips and trying in vain to find a comfortable position
  • wearing my engagement/wedding ring (shout out to you, Michelle Taylor, for reminding me of the beauty of this)
  • eating a full meal without feeling like my tummy is going to pop
  • regulating my body temperature (this morning, I put on a hoodie in this "cooler" weather, and I LOVE it!)
  • eating undercooked meat and undercooked eggs and unheated deli meat and having a glass of wine
  • being able to hug my husband and not feel like there is a basketball in between us
Will I be pregnant again someday? I hope and pray so.
Am I enjoying the time until that time? You bet!

P.S. Feel free to add to this list. I know I am forgetting some.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Birth Story: Adelaide Penelope

Nearly three weeks ago, I had a baby! It was amazing. Here's how it all happend. Oh, by the way, I tried not to be too incredibly graphic, but well, it's birth. Read on at your own risk!

I went to the doctor for a routine pre-natal visit on Tuesday, July 17th. I was 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant. At my appointment, I had a Braxton Hicks (BH) contraction while my doctor was examining me--FYI, a Braxton Hicks is a contraction that is not painful, it's just a "practice contraction" to prep your body for the real thing. The good thing about having a BH contraction at my appointment was that my doctor pointed it out and helped confirm to me what a contraction felt like. After my appointment, I started paying more attention to the contractions, and I realized I was having them pretty often. When I got home, I timed them for an hour, and they were coming approximately every 8 minutes. These contractions, though painless, were unique because they continued despite changing my patterns of activity. Usually, BH contractions stop if you lie down or move around (whatever you haven't been doing when you noticed them). I was encouraged by this, thinking maybe, just maybe, labor was around the corner. That night, Casey and I went to see Spiderman at The Moolah, and I timed contractions for the first hour of the movie--still 8 minutes apart, but painless. I timed the contractions one more time on Wednesday morning--8 minutes, painless, and then decided that, whatever was happening, it wasn't active labor yet, so I might as well stop thinking about it until something changed.

I kept reminding myself that labor can happen over a period of weeks, that none of the "signs" really tell you anything. Saturday, July 21st, was my due date, and it ended up being a pretty tough day. Throughout the morning, Casey kept asking me how I was feeling, and at one point, I said, "Like I could break down in tears at any moment"---and then I proceeded to do so. My due date, although not official, was heavily emotionally charged for me. I felt so close to the end, but didn't really even know if labor was hours, days, or even weeks away. Casey reminded me that "No one has been pregnant forever," which I had been telling myself as a form of encouragement for several days. My response to him that day was, "Yeah, but two weeks feels like forever right now" [two weeks being the maximum amount of time I could potentially go before looking at induction].

Once we got past Saturday, Sunday was surprisingly easier. I let go of the expectation and hope that our little girl would be born "early," and all of a sudden, it did feel close. I knew we would be having this baby in the next two weeks, and I could handle it. We headed to my in-laws house for a few hours on the lake, which had been our traditional Sunday activity all summer (and a great way to spend the final weeks of pregnancy). This particular Sunday though, I knew I was getting close, because I told Casey, "Even being in the water doesn't make me feel less huge and uncomfortable."

I talked to my mom on the phone Sunday night and asked her if she remembered feeling any different the night before she went into labor. She said no, she had no idea even hours before labor started that anything was changing. We talked a lot about the difficulties of waiting for labor and the questions of well-meaning family and friends (I stopped calling people because everyone always thought I was calling with big news of a baby and I hated to disappoint--when I did call people, I started my conversation with "No I'm not in labor."), and it was nice and encouraging. I love my mom. She always relaxes and comforts me :). After our conversation, I went to bed.

A couple of hours later, around 1 am, I woke up for my typical mid-night bathroom run, and I felt crampy. It wasn't the first time I had had cramps, so I wasn't particularly excited, but when I went to the bathroom, I thought maybe my water had broken. I wasn't sure, so I just went back to bed to see if anything else happened.

I was only back in bed for a minute when I started having contractions. Casey had not gone to sleep yet; he was still awake and reading a book, so I asked him to get a notebook and a timer to time the contractions. The contractions were coming quickly. We measured them for an hour and they were 4-6 minutes apart, but only 30 seconds long. Having done our homework, we knew that any contractions less than 45 seconds aren't really doing major work (not that they aren't working, but just that they need to be longer to really get labor moving). I didn't want to continue timing contractions indefinitely, so I decided to get up and take a shower. While I was in the shower, I had four more contractions, and they were getting to be intense enough that Casey kept asking me if I was okay. I began focusing on my breathing and exhaling low sounds, another Bradley technique, which really helped alleviate the pain.

After the shower, I got back in bed. The only position I wanted to be in was leaning against pillows, sitting up in bed. Prior to labor, I thought I would want to move around and try different positions to ease the pain, but sitting upright in bed was by far the most comfortable for me. Once I was settled, I told Casey I thought we should start timing contractions again. We timed for another hour, and now they were 3-4 minutes apart and 40 seconds long--things were progressing more quickly than the "textbook" labor. At that point, I wanted to call Bethany, our doula, even though she told me to call her when the contractions were 7 minutes apart, 60 seconds long, for an hour. My contractions were kind of backwards--coming quickly, but not very long, and I just wanted to give her a heads up that we were probably going to have a baby *soon.* Casey wanted to time contractions longer first, so he talked me out of calling for another half an hour or so. Another thing we learned through our reading is not to get into to big a hurry--stay at home as long as possible, or you could be in for a long stay in the hospital and/or sent home because you came too early. Casey finally called Bethany at 4:45 am. By this time, contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and I had had 4 or 5 that were 60 seconds or more (2 were almost 90 seconds). Bethany told us that it was probably time to go to the hospital, and that she was going to shower and meet us at our house, but if anything changed, we needed to leave for the hospital and she would meet us there.

Casey started getting our stuff together while I labored in the bedroom. It felt like it took forever for him to get everything ready, and things started to get even more intense, at which point I told Casey, "Whatever we don't have, let's just forget and get going." We left for the hospital at about 5:30am.

On the way to the hospital, Casey jokingly asked if we could stop at Hardees. Right as he asked the question, I had an intense contraction, and I responded with a long, "AHHHHH." He said, "I'm just joking," which I knew, but I was just responding to the contraction, not him! :)

We arrived at the hospital, and Bethany was right behind us. That was nice because she could walk with me to the hospital while Casey grabbed all of our stuff. St. Mary's is undergoing lots of renovations and we had to take an elevator to the ground floor of the parking garage and then walk around to the main entrance because the walkway from the parking garage to the hospital is under construction. When we got to the ground floor, right as the doors opened, I had a contraction. Bethany told me to just stay in the elevator, so we let the doors close, not realizing someone else had pushed a button on a higher level, causing the elevator to start moving up again. The doors opened on the first floor and the lady waiting for the elevator was pretty freaked out. She kept asking if I needed a wheelchair. I think she thought I might have the baby in that elevator!

We finally made it to triage after a couple of other detour routes around construction. In triage, I checked out at 6 cm dilated and 100% effaced. This was encouraging news. All the way to the hospital, I was worried that 1. we would get there and be sent home for not being far enough along, or 2. I would be fully dilated and have to have the baby in triage. Thankfully, we were at neither extreme, but arrived at the hospital at just the right time. All this, thanks to Casey, whose job as coach was to keep us home as long as possible.
During labor, between contractions
 From there, things started to get fuzzy for me. We moved to a delivery room and the contractions continued to get more and more intense. I still wanted to be in a sitting position, so they moved the bed so that the bottom half was low enough for me to sit as though in an upright chair. Though I tried laboring in different positions, the sitting position was the most comfortable. I think this position was most comfortable in part because of how sleepy I felt. I knew labor would be physically exhausting, but I did not anticipate feeling sleepy. I remember falling asleep between almost every contraction, and I somehow stayed half asleep through some contractions. The only other thing I remember about this part of labor is Bethany and Casey telling me to relax my shoulders, which I had the tendency to tense up during contractions. I also remember Casey rubbing my shoulder and arm lightly. At one point he tried rubbing my leg and I could barely manage to get out, "Not my leg, not my leg!" as a contraction was going. But the shoulder and arm rubs felt very comforting and relaxing.

At this point, I no longer had any concept of time. The contractions just kept coming, and at some point, someone asked me if I felt any urge to push yet. I had felt it off and on, but it was different than I expected. I didn't feel an urge to push, but I felt my body pushing for me during contractions. The doctor arrived to check me and I was 8-9 cm dilated.

Around 9 am, I was fully dilated and given the okay to push. I really wanted to avoid pushing while lying on my back so instead  I tried the squat position, which makes use of gravity to help the baby move; they brought a squat bar in for me to hold during contractions. Bethany counted backwards from 8 for me for each push. I pushed three times with each contraction. It felt really strange because I couldn't really feel what I was pushing. I remember fearing that Baby Girl wasn't moving and that I would have to have a c-section because her head would be too big. Besides Casey, Bethany, and our nurse Sandra, I really don't have any recollections of anyone else in the room, although I do remember people introducing themselves to me as they came in. Having Bethany, Casey, and Sandra at the hospital was amazing. Bethany counting, Casey rubbing my shoulder, and Sandra, who kept encouraging me to push harder. That's what I remember. Oh, and the pain. Contractions hurt. A lot. Pushing hurt. A lot.

I started having a lot of pain in my back, so we tried some different postions, with Casey pushing on some pressure points, which gave me some relief; then I switched positions again to try to move our little gal's head into a better position.  Those were some of the most painful contractions I remember, but they worked, so thank God!
The next thing I remember is someone saying, "She has lots of dark hair." I reached down to feel her, but it still seemed like the end was far away, even though everyone kept saying she was almost here.
At 10:20 am, with one final contraction, Adelaide Penelope entered this world. I remember the doctor saying, "Oh, she has her hand by her face." They set her on my stomach and I just kept telling her how beautiful she was and how much I loved her. I tear up just thinking about that moment right now.

Hello Adelaide Penelope!
She has 10 fingers and 10 toes, lots of dark hair (like mommy), a button nose and round cheeks (like daddy). Perfect in every way!

Adelaide Penelope: 8 lbs. 6 oz., 19 in., ready to take on the world!
It's now nearly three weeks later, and I can hardly believe how much she is already changing and growing. It's amazing what a difference each day makes. I have healed well and am feeling almost back to myself. Not being pregnant is fantastic. Adelaide eats and sleeps well, and is an overall healthy, joyful addition to our family. In many (but not all) ways, this feels natural. Like it is what we have been meant to be. Our sweet family!

Family of three!

Our little Laidey Bug!